Updated: Aug 11, 2019
I have always felt different. Since I was a little girl I remember thinking and acting differently than the other kids around me: talking to the kid getting bullied, helping the teacher with classroom tasks, starting a dance club at recess and genuinely worrying about my grades. I never thought any of these things could be considered weird. I honestly never thought about what anyone thought of any of it at all. I was just doing what God put on my heart and pushed me to do. But over time, I was shown by others, kids and adults, that how I felt, what I thought and even how I acted was different... and different was wrong. Different meant wrong to me for far too long.
When you spend most of your life feeling that all the things you want to do are different, you start to quiet those parts of you. You hide them, ignore them, pray they will go away, or at least find someone who understands them. I stopped listening to the words in my own heart and only heard the words others said about me. Slowly over time, their words became my words, and the negative self talk was deafening. I couldn't see, hear, or believe anything that was put on my heart anymore, so I followed blindly what others wanted for me. I figured those that loved me would steer me in the right direction, but I never stopped to figure out what direction my heart wanted to lead me in. Suddenly, life was fine and things appeared great, but me... well, I was lost.
Then 6.5 years ago, I drank a protein shake. That shake led me to a company that began to teach me that who I am, in my heart, is exactly who I need to be to be successful. Not just in my business, but in my life. I learned to grow. I put value on my personal growth and strove to be the best version of me. Not the one I thought you wanted to see. Not the one that makes you feel comfortable. The version of me that has been dying to make its way to the surface, to feel free and to live.
A few weeks ago I attended a Rachel Hollis RISE conference and this message hit me straight in the face. I was made exactly who I am on purpose. I was gifted these talents on purpose. I was created in a very unique way that is only mine, on purpose. All the weird, all the crazy, all the bossy in charge attitude, all the NY, all the different, outside the box thinking and creative ideas. All the things that I thought was wrong with me
are truly there on purpose. I'm supposed to do something with all of this. I'm supposed to own this. I'm supposed to inspire people to also be whoever they truly are. To shine bright, to let loose, to do be and say whatever is on their heart. You were made exactly who you are on purpose and so was I.
WE were made for more.